


In the Dark of the Night

by RJMeta



Series: AWH-verse [4]
Category: A Hat in Time (Video Game)
Genre: (jason is the conductor's son-in-law for anyone wondering), Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Nightmares, Past Suicide Attempts, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, an oc is mentioned but doesn't play a role in the story, suicide baiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:07:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27072460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RJMeta/pseuds/RJMeta
Summary: Ch 1: Two birds have a discussion on a rooftop. It goes much worse than the last time.Ch 2: The aftermath.(This one deals with some heavy themes, folks - feel free to skip chapter one if you want to avoid most of the warning tags on this fic.)
Series: AWH-verse [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1968832
Comments: 1
Kudos: 41





	1. The Strangest Stranger

**Author's Note:**

> chapter song: [The Strangest Stranger by Get Scared](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaFy6YVSQUk)
> 
> this one is pretty heavy folks.

“Ye know, we keep meetin’ up here.”

His ear twitches at a muffled yelp before a smooth chuckle follows it. The distinctive sound of platform shoes on concrete approaches before the Moon Penguin appears in the corner of his vision, sitting on the edge of the roof. He doesn’t have any whiskey with him this time - he’d promised the hatted lass he’d stop drinking so much, though she was proud of how much progress he’d already made in the months between her leaving and coming back - but he offers the other bird a small smile before turning back to the sunset. The comfortable quiet descends again, but he can sense the other’s disquiet. Just as he’s about to speak up, Grooves breaks the quiet.

“I’ve been thinking about something, darling, and I thought I should confirm with you before I jumped to any conclusions.”

He bites back an instinctive snarky response, instead turning slightly to look at the Moon Penguin in curiosity. Grooves is fidgeting with his flippers, looking down towards the ground.

“Well, the thing is, I… hm… how do I put this…? Train Rush. That bomb… it was real, wasn’t it?”

He stops, releasing a long breath. This was a conversation he’d been hoping to avoid, but…

“Aye. It was.”

Silence falls for a moment, but the quiet camaraderie is gone. He hears Grooves takes a measured breath.

“Were you trying to kill yourself?”

He swallows.

“... aye.”

He prepares for a number of different responses - anger, fear, betrayal - but he doesn’t expect the quiet--

“Shame.”

His breath stutters a second, disbelief causing his gaze to snap to the other bird. Grooves is still examining his flippers, the disquiet from before gone. He looks almost… flippant. Uncaring. A kernel of rage lights in his chest.

“Ah just admitted Ah’ve tried tae kill meself, and all ye have tae say is ‘shame’??”

Grooves nods absently, sighing.

“It is a shame.”

Then he looks up, and the rage in his chest is quashed by the weight of hatred in the other bird’s eyes. 

“It’s a shame the little darling stopped you from succeeding. Would’ve done the world a favor if she’d just returned to her space ship and let you reduce yourself to ashes.”

His chest feels tight, a lump in his throat preventing any air getting through. Absently, he realises he’s shaking, trembling like a leaf as smoke begins to curl gently from him.

“Wh… what…?”

Grooves scoffs, rolling his eyes.

“Must I really spell it out for you? I knew you were a fool, but I didn’t think you were this much of a moron. No one wants you around, Conductor! You killed your first wife, drove off your second - hell, you were so much of a bad father, you weren’t even there when your daughter died! I bet she cried out for you, in pain and afraid, and you. Weren’t. There. Cared too much about your train to give a peck about your family.”

The Moon Penguin stands up and he flinches back, jaw slack with horror. He tries to think of something, anything, he can say to refute the accusations--

… but he can’t.

No, no, that can’t-- there has to be someone--!

“Not even the little darling wants you around. I bet she’s having so much fun, leading you around by the nose. You were so desperate to replace your first daughter - I bet you haven’t even thought about her since she showed up, have you? So busy trying to look like a functional member of society, like you didn’t try to kill her three times. You disgust me, you filthy half-breed.”

A flipper gently grips the bottom of his jaw and pulls his head up, forcing him to look at the softly smiling director.

“But you can fix your mistakes - right here, right now. Just jump off the roof. Remove your pathetic burden from existence. _Make everyone’s lives so much better_.”

Smoke pours off him now. Slowly, he stands up, moving onto the edge of the roof. In the dark, he can’t see the ground. A pair of flippers fall onto his shoulders, a voice whispering in his ear.

“ _Do the right thing_.”

He swallows hard, looking down into the yawning abyss. A whispering breeze crosses over him, making him shudder harder for a moment. The flippers tighten harder on his shoulders as the breeze blows again, his ear twitching.

“Jump.”

The breeze blows again and he frowns. A sound catches his attention, just on the edge of his hearing. It’s… almost familiar…

“Jump, damnit!”

He can almost make it out…

“JUMP ALREADY!”

_“DAD!”_

And he falls.


	2. Don't You Dare Forget the Sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter song: [Don't You Dare Forget the Sun by Get Scared](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BV3LMSMz9WI)
> 
> there might be a third part to this, but for now i'm leaving it at two. enjoy the hurt/comfort yall!

He hit the ground with a loud clang, instinctively kicking out at the person stood over him. Smoke hung thick in the air around them, obscuring his vision of their face, his heart beating loudly in his ears. The other person had moved back, hands held up, saying something he couldn't hear over his panic. He swallowed hard against a wave of nausea, still feeling flippers pressing down on his shoulders that didn't abate even when he sunk his talons into them.

"-- six, seven, eight. Out, two, three, four, hold, six, seven, eight."

Someone was counting. Why were they counting? … oh, he was hyperventilating, that was probably why. Letting out a shuddering breath, he worked to calm his breathing, following the count that (he was surprised to realise) Hat Kid was giving him.

"In, two, three, four, hold, six, seven, eight. Out, two, three, four, hold, six, seven, eight. You with me, Dad?"

"A-aye, lass. Ah'm here."

She sighed in clear relief, face now visible through the thinning smoke. Now more cognisant of his surroundings, he shivered, noticing the breeze from the open door that was funnelling the smoke from the room.

_Well, that explains that…_

He swallowed again, shifting position and removing his talons from his shoulders (ignoring the bloodied tips in the process). Tilting his head, he sent his daughter a confused glance. Thankfully, she picked up on his silent question and sat down, facing him with a serious expression.

"Me and Jason were waiting for you at the house for dinner, but you didn't show up so I went looking. Found you asleep at your desk, but the room was filling with smoke and you looked afraid. Tried waking you up and, well…"

She silently gestured to the room. His desk chair had overturned, papers spilled from his desk to the floor. Thankfully nothing was burned or melted, but he still winced at the state of the place.

"Oh… thanks fer wakin' me, lassie."

Suddenly, he remembered lashing out and sat up straighter, running a worried gaze over her.

"I didnae hurt ye, did Ah?"

She waved a hand.

"Nah, I'm fine. I'm more worried about you, honestly - I've… never seen you cry before. Must've been one hell of a nightmare."

She gestured at the quickly dissipating smoke and he sighed, shifting to sit with his back against the wall and his arms resting on his knees.

"Aye, lass, it was."

She fidgeted for a moment before meeting his gaze.

"You don't have to tell me - I'm not going to force you. But talking about it helps, I promise. You've listened to me ramble on about my nightmares, it'd be pretty rude of me to not return the favor. Like I said, I'm not gonna force you! But the offer's open if you want it, y'know?"

_"Not even the little darling wants you around. I bet she’s having so much fun, leading you around by the nose."_

His mouth went dry. That… nightmare Grooves couldn't be right… right?

"Ah… d'ye like it here?"

She blinked, visibly caught off guard.

"Um? Well, yeah, of course I do."

He shook his head slightly, both begging her to understand and dreading her answer.

"N-no, Ah mean… with me. Do ye-- am Ah-- do ye like livin' with me?"

She was frowning now, an expression that set his heart back to thudding in his chest.

"Yeah, of course I like living with you. Where's this coming from?"

He swallowed again, waving a hand semi-panicked.

"I-it's nothin, lassie, Ah'm alright--"

"I mean, you're clearly not, but…"

She shifted, looking away slightly. When she looked back, he felt something stab into his chest at her upset expression.

"I… did I do something? Say something? Because I'm not sure where you got the idea that I don't love being here, that I don't love _you_? I-- if you want me to leave, I can--"

"No!"

She started at his shout, looking at him with wide eyes. He flinched back.

"No. Ah-- no, ye don't need tae leave. Ah--"

He cut off, scrubbing his talons down his face with a shaky exhale. He could feel smoke building up under his feathers and wrestled with it a moment.

"Ah-- d-do ye remember when Ah told ye about Award 42?"

She nodded, scooting closer to lay a hand on his knee, looking worried. It was then that he realised he was trembling.

"F-fer th' longest time… Ah wasnae in a good place. Tae the point Ah t-tried tae…"

He swallowed, unable to finish the sentence. But judging by her rapidly paling countenance, he didn't need to. Her hand remained on his knee, gripping slightly harder.

"Th' last attempt… was Train Rush."

He could see the way she stiffened and mentally cursed himself out for pulling such a monumentally stupid move. He winced when she removed her hand, only to jump when she leapt at him, wrapping her arms tightly around him. He froze for a moment, uncertainty and self-loathing warring with his heart before he slowly lowered his arms around her, returning the hug.

"Ah'm still here, lass. Ye stopped me in time."

Her voice was muffled from speaking into his shoulder, but he heard here all the same.

"Is that what you were dreaming about?"

He stilled again, breath hitching as Grooves' hatred-filled eyes flashed across his mind's eye.

"... no."

Clearing his throat, he shifted so he was sat crosslegged, Hat Kid sitting in his lap. She'd tucked her head into his neck so his head rested on top of hers.

"Grooves' made me take th' bomb outta me train after that stunt. He knew it was real - he used it on ye - but he didnae say anything about it. Ah… he had tae realise what it was fer, he's a peck neck and a fool but he's not a moron, but he didnae even comment. Ah have tae hope that it's because he really didnae put the pieces together, 'cause-- 'c-cause--"

He felt her tapping a steady rhythm on his spine, absently realising he was starting to hyperventilate again, smoke drifting from him. A shuddering sigh tore from him as he nuzzled her hair, tightening his grip around her.

"Th' alternative is that he knows, and he agrees. That's what Ah dreamed about."

Silence fell for a long moment. He flinched as small hands gently grabbed the side of his head, pulling it so he was facing her. Tears were steadily streaming down her face, but her voice was strong when she spoke.

"If he does, he's so wrong. _So_ wrong. Killing yourself would be the worst mistake you could make, you hear me?”

He swallowed hard, a rueful grin stretching across his face even as the smoke in the air thickened. A weight lifted from his shoulders at her words, relief and bittersweet joy spreading through him.

“Ah hear ye. Ah promise ye, lassie, Ah havenae tried since then.”

She nodded, furiously scrubbing at her eyes with her sleeves.

“Good.”

He leaned forward, pulling her back into a hug.

“Ah love ye, lass.”

“I love you too, Dad. Don’t forget that.”

“Ah won’t.”


End file.
